7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. 
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. 
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. 
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' 
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

  2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. 
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. 
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' 
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like' 
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.' 

3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. 
After explaining the commandment to 'honour thy Father and thy Mother', she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' 
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shalt not kill.' 

4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. 
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?' 
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' 
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

   5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Leanne, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Thore, He's a doctor.' 
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.' 

 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.' 
'Yes,' the class said. 
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?' 
A little fellow shouted,
'`Cause your feet ain't empty.'

   7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 
'Take only ONE . God is watching.' 
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Inner Peace: This is so true

If you can start the day without caffeine, If you  can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and  boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every  day  and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved  ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can take criticism and  blame without resentment, If you can conquer tension  without  medical help, If you can relax without alcohol,  If  you can sleep without the aid of  drugs,      Then, you probably are.. ...the family       dog!            And you thought I was going   to get all spiritual......

Win this one for Sachin -- Harsha Bhogle

This is specially for those people who would have made fun of him again last night when India lost (against South Africa). 

Remember when you failed an examination. How many people recall that -- your class, friends, relatives? You failed to make it to the IITs or IIMs. Who remembers? How many times have you had the feeling of being the best in your class, school, university, state…..; you failed to get a visa stamped this quarter…, you missed a promotion this year…; how did it feel when your dad told you in your early twenties that you are a good-for-nothing...and now your boss tell you the same?

You keep introspecting and go into a shell when people, most of whom don’t matter a dime in your life criticize you, back-bite you, make fun of you. You are left sad and shattered and you cry when your own kin scoff at you.

You say I am feeling low today. It takes a lot from us to come out of these everyday situations and move on.

A lot???

Really?

Now here’s a man standing on the third man boundary in the last over of a world cup match. The bowler just has to bowl sensibly to win this game. What the man at the boundary sees is four rank bad balls bowled without any sense of focus, plan or regret. India loses yet again in those circumstances when he has done just about everything right.

He does not cry, does not show any emotion. He just keeps his head down and leaves the field. He has seen these failures for 22 years now. And not just his class, relatives, friends but the whole world has seen these failures.

We are too immature to even imagine what goes on in that mind and heart of his. That’s why I would never want to be Sachin Tendulkar.

True, he has single-handedly lifted the moods of this entire nation umpteen number of times. He has been an inspiration to rise above our mediocrity. Nobody who has ever lifted the willow even comes close to this man’s genius. His dedication and metal strength is unparalleled.

This is especially for those people who would have made fun of him again last night when India lost.

They are people who are mediocre in their own lives. Who just scoff at others to create cheap fun. Who have lived in a small hole throughout their lives and thought they have seen the oceans.

Think about the man himself.

He is 37 years of age. He has been playing almost non-stop for 22 years. The way he was running and diving around the field last night would have put 22-year-olds to shame. The way he played the best opening quickies in the world was breathtaking. He just keeps getting better which is by the way humanly impossible. It’s not for nothing that people call him GOD.  

But still I don’t want to be in those shoes. We struggle in keeping our monotonous lives straight; lives which affect a limited number of people. Imagine what would be the magnitude of the inner struggle for him; pain, both mental and physical; tears that have frozen with time; knees and ankles and every other joint in the body that is either bandaged or needs to be attended to every night; eyes that don’t sleep before a big game; (and) bats that have scored 99 international tons and still see expectations from a billion people.

And he just converts those expectations into reality. We watch in awe, feel privileged.

Well I think its time that his team realizes that enough is enough.

They have an obligation, not towards their country alone, but towards Sachin. They need to win this one for him. Stay assured that he himself will still deliver and leave no stone unturned to make sure India wins this cup.

This is not just a game, and he is not just a sportsman. It’s much more than this. Words fail here.....

---By HARSHA BHOGLE

Sachin da Kamaal

Given a cricket match with India in the tie and you are sure to have sound bytes flying around about who is doing right and who wrong.

Strangely, there has been flak fired from one quarter saying that Sachin Tendulkar’s innings could have been faster than was. But no one is willing to brave a guess on how much faster it should have been.

Looking back at the Indian innings, it was quite a satisfying effort; but one must still remember that these are days of T20 in which cricketers are used to scoring runs at a much faster rate than their counterparts, say, a decade ago.

But a decade ago, was when Tendulkar was very much in the middle of things, and for such a person to have adjusted and scored 120 at a good rate goes much say not just about his batting skills but also about his ability to evolve his batting style to the needs of the team on the given day.

If India put up a formidable score of 338, a fair credit has to go to Tendulkar for anchoring the innings the way he did. Had he tried to be faster than what he was and had lost his wicket in the process, it’s anybody’s guess how much sharper the criticism would have been about the “old war horse” of Indian cricket.

Let’s not forget that cricket is an unpredictable game, but a score of 338 has ushered in a degree of predictability to the Sunday game – in favour of India.

This is written as England plays its 8^th over. So the outcome of the game is still awaited.

Yet, salutes go to Sachin for putting up a competitive score on the team board.

Kudos!!  

Let's be patriotic from our hearts, not our heads! Happy Republic Day!

Quite likely, this RD would pass off as any other. A day to be remembered for nationalism, and therefore, a day to do a lot of patriotic things...consciously.
So, some among us will wake up early, wear khadi and go and sing the national anthem to impress that they feel the pride of being an Indian.
And when the day has passed, we will get back to our routine in which, unfortunately, patriotism gives way to selfishness, indifference and -- what has always been in our Indian blood -- cynicism and we-are-no-good, boo-hoo-hoo mentality.
But when we get back to our routine, please stop in your tracks, and think: what is patriotism? Do we consciously need to be patriotic? Or, a little consideration for your fellow-citizens/countrymen (and women, of course) will ensure that much-hyped concept of nationalism via patriotism?
For that, we need to be patriotic at heart, not merely in our heads. 
The difference? It is this: If you are patriotic only in your head, you will remember that January 26 is our Republic Day; that August 15 is our Independence Day, and we will try to show off our patriotic best. 
But if you are patriotic at heart, every day will be an Independence Day or a Republic Day. Your heart will tell you that it is not just the land that you have to protect; it is the people, their emotions, and getting to understand them which will make you genuinely patriotic.
Sad, that there are very few genuine patriots around. 
Let's be genuine ones rather just remember to show off our patriotism through strange things only on specified days....
 

An eye-opener for safe driving

"I can't follow you everywhere...!'

'Avoid using mobile phone while driving...'   

 

Chanakya's Quotes - Worth reading a million times…  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "A person should not be too honest.  Straight trees are cut first  and Honest people are victimized first."  Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC -275 BC)  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "Even if a snake is not poisonous,  it should pretend to be venomous."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "The biggest guru-mantra is:  Never share your secrets with anybody. !  It will destroy you."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "There is some self-interest behind every friendship.  There is no Friendship without self-interests.  This is a bitter truth."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions -  Why am I doing it,  What the results might be and  Will I be successful.  Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "As soon as the fear approaches near,  attack and destroy it."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it.  People who work sincerely are the happiest."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind.  But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them.  By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "Books are as useful to a stupid person  as a mirror is useful to a blind person."  ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***  "Education is the best friend  An educated person is respected everywhere.  Education beats the beauty and the youth."

ends/..